20.08.2012

My 11th letter to you...

Was down with bad cough again.. Asthmatic cough... *sigh* As usual... I had to nurse myself back to health.. Cause no one gives a damn about me anyway.. Certainly not you...

Met up with Ling today.. Of all people.. She had to ask me about you...

Haven't thought about you for quite some time.. ... Well.. I lied.. Still think of you every now and then... But.. I am trying not to already... So far... I think I had been doing quite a good job....

I had not visited your facebook... nor check when was your last online on Whatsapp... Most importantly... I had not cried because of you for the past 2 weeks...

I tried to have plans for each passing day... But well.. Not everyone is free to entertain me all the time... Times like these... I tend to get lonely.. And misses you.. But hey.. I am starting to get use to it again... I am just going back to the times before I'm with you... =)

Honestly.. I am not quite sure what's the plan for my life since you left... I am just living day by day....

Then and again.. I don't why am I writing all this rubbish to you... *sigh*

Wish you were here though... Miss your hugs...

Miss you.. & Love you always...

05.08.2012

My 10th letter to you....

It's been awhile since I last went to your Facebook profile... My heart almost stopped beating when I saw it just now... You had removed all our photos...

I guess... This day had come? You had really removed me from your life...

I really don't why am I still missing you so bad... I don't why I broke down and cry hysterically at the stairs when I got home from pub this morning.... 

Why are you so cruel to me? Why is my heart still hurting so bad?

Why? Why?

Why can't I stop crying?

Miss & Love you... Always... 

04.08.2012

My 9th letter to you....

It's a new month... 1 month plus since you left...

Suddenly missed your presence again...

Just came home from a movie.. Total Recall.. It's a great show... Believe this is something that you will enjoy watching.... There were a few moments in the movie where I had actually hoped that you were sitting beside me like you used to...

Wished that I can re-modify my memory like that main character in the movie.... =(

Been playing alot with my polaroid camera.. Been reminding myself that my life now is like those instax film.... I only take a shot once... I cannot edit to make it perfect... Nor can I delete it just because it's not perfect...

I took a leap of faith when I decided to be with you.... I cannot change the past to make it better cause you wouldn't let me... I cannot delete our times together because I still love you...

I am living my life so carefully now.. Careful not to remember you.. Careful not to text you...Careful not to check your facebook profile... Careful not to show everyone at work how sad I am... Careful to constantly keeping a smile on my face...Careful not to fall in love again... 


It just hurts so much... Love... I don't think I can trust this 4-letter word from anyone again... Sigh...

Missing you so much.. & Love you... Always...